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Friday, July 14, 2006

I had a customer earlier today who brought along his grandson when he came to renew his motor insurance. The boy was in his school uniform. And the grandpa was very concerned whether the boy was hungry. They were heading for his tuition next. And the grandson had not taken his lunch...

Reminded me of when I was in primary school. That was how caring and doting Yai was to me. Can still remember when I have left behind my books or assignments at home and I would asked him to bring them to school. And travelling in public transport from Jurong to Holland Rd is no joke.

Knowing I would get a scolding if I had asked Abah or Mama instead, I would always turn to Yai. And those times I was forced to eat vege, Yai would eat them for me. Just so I wouldn't get scolded.

And those times I went to the mosque with him on his bicycle. Although the idea was to initially escape practising extra Maths sums, doing Assessment Books.. it gradually became our "private time" together. Mind u.. I was a heavy gal back then. So it was not an easy feat for Yai to cycle to and fro everyday. I was so proud each time i hear him singing the azan.

I was too young to understand when Yai first started to show symptoms of Alzheimer. It was in fact fun for us at first to tease him when he slowly lost his memory. Only when the once caring, doting and affectionate Yai that we once know became physically agressive towards all of us that I realised that we have lost that significant side of him.

It was heartbreaking when his health slowly worsened. And I have never fully forgiven myself as I feel that I am partly to be blamed when he had that nasty fall.

Yai passed away peacefully on 01/10/2000 in the presence of myself, Meike, Cik Mala & Iman.

I knew that my life partner has to fill in the space that Yai has created in my heart. He has to possess that special qualities that Yai had. And yes, I have found the man.

In him I trust that I will be taken care of dearly. Just like how Yai had.

Even Mama commented how similar both of them are.. soft-spoken, patient, loving, and that familiar loud "nose-blowing" sounds especially in the morning.

Just when I have came to terms with Yai's death, Allah has decided the time has come for Nyai to leave the world.

It has been more than 6 mths since Nyai has left us. But the pain that lingers within me is still so raw. It is almost as if she has just left us yesterday.

It took me years to accept that Yai has left us when he passed away 6 years ago. And now it's like history is repeating itself again.

No words can describe the sadness and emptiness that I feel since her demise. There has never been a passing day that I have never thought of her.

I guess I just took it for granted that she will be with us in a long time to come.

I will always value those little things that she has done or given to me. My 1st (and only) necklace, my blender when we moved into our own flat, Hil's stroller. Such are the little but valuable things that she has given me. She may not be as affectionate as how Yai was with us before. But she sure has her own special ways all the same.

Nevertheless, I am thankful that she has lived long enough to see her oldest grandaughter settling down and have her 1st baby. Thank you Yai and Nyai for giving me this chance to hold on to these memories.

May your souls reside amongst those destined for Heaven. And may your souls be blessed by Allah. Amin.



Cheers @ 9:59 PM